Coping with the Change

Like many of you, I am slowly getting used to a completely new life, one that is significantly more restricted and uncertain. Kids and spouses are all home carving out space to work and study remotely and re-learning how to share chores and give each other enough space to not drive each other crazy. Each day brings a new shift in our expectations and everyday reality. Sometimes I feel anxious and sometimes I feel fine. I shift wildly from the important to the silly–will we be able to feed everyone? How will I manage without getting my nails done? In the midst of all of it, I have found myself thinking a lot about opportunities, mostly as a way to cope with all of this change. In our house I have watched my kids, all young adults, accept the losses that all of these changes have brought: the loss of work, their everyday lives, sports seasons, and college graduation ceremonies and contact with friends. I am watching them re-make their daily lives to take advantage of the shifts in their responsibilities and orbit. They are working on projects that they haven’t had time for before and finding that they are getting more work done without the distractions of their office. I am learning from them that I can’t control everything that is happening around me but I do have control over my perceptions. I am consciously trying to find these kinds of opportunities, personally and professionally. We are watching less TV–mostly because there is not enough room on the couch for all of us (but I’ll take it) I am getting outside more often to walk or work in the yard, I am reading more and maybe most importantly I am really grateful for the time with my husband and kids.

I have also been thinking a lot about our students who have had to shift suddenly to online learning and the challenges around that. It is hard to figure out how to maintain focus without the guard rails of the physical classroom and the structure of the day-to-day. Just a week ago the biggest challenge for high school students was often how to find any time in their busy days, and now they are faced with the opposite challenge, how to make sense of days without school and practice and volunteering. We are all essentially social creatures, and that is especially true for high schoolers. The in-person contact with friends and teammates is a real loss as well. On top of that our Juniors are navigating an already overwhelming college admission process with even more uncertainty and confusion.

For Sharon and me, the business plan we worked so hard on doesn’t make sense in this environment. We are trying to focus on the opportunity in that by brainstorming ways in which we can best support our families virtually without sacrificing that personal connection that is so important to both of us. We are reframing the way that we work to meet the needs of families where they are and to help our students identify their own opportunities in all of this; the opportunity to have time to think a little deeper about what they are learning, the opportunity to reflect on who they are and what their priorities are in college, the opportunity to carve out a routine for themselves that keeps them learning, and the opportunity to be connected to their friends and family, even virtually.